Our family has had a lot of changes in our employment situations. Rick's job at Groen Brothers Aviation finally came to an end. He watched the company struggle to cover the payroll for about 5 months and wondered if they would make it through this tight financial squeeze. Finally at the end of May, they had to decide to lay off almost all of their employees. They were not able to find financing to cover payroll for April or May. They hope to not have to go completely out of business, but they are very close.
Emily came home from her semester in Jerusalem and had to decide if she was going to go down to work at Philmont Scout Camp for the summer. She had a very hard time making the decision. After arriving home after being away for 4 months, she was not anxious to leave home again one month later. She was also anxious to play her violin more and could not take her nice violin to the primitive living conditions at Philmont. She e-mailed them and said she was not coming. Then she started working planting flowers for Bountiful City, and remembered how hot and tiring that work was and so she e-mailed back and said she was coming. Then she looked at pictures of the tent she would be living in for 3 months and got another job as an assistant server at the Garden Restaurant and so she e-mailed again and said she wasn't coming.
In January, Lee started working at Gregory's Wheat Shop packaging granola to be shipped to grocery stores. It was to be part time and temporary until he went on his mission. He also got a job as a package handler at Fed Ex part time from 10pm to 2am. He is still working both jobs and in between, he is pursuing his first love of playing the guitar.
John had worked at El Matador restaurant bussing dishes for almost 2 years. Also during that time he had worked assisting a neighbor installing window blinds in homes. As he got close to High School graduation and planning to go to Idaho for college, he was offered a job in a machine shop that manufactures asault rifles for the military and police. They said he was most highly recommended by his high school machine shop teacher. They wanted him to start then and get trained part time after school and move to full time in the summer. He told them he would be in college during the summer and so he did not take the job. After we analyzed it, he called them back and told them the exact dates when he would be away at college and when he would be home and available to work. They were happy to hire him.
After a week of Rick being unemployed, he suggested that I look for a full time job, and he would stay home and care for the children and home. I have attended training classes for preparing resumes and searching for employment. I have learned that any experience older than about 10 years is considered unimportant and out of date. My bachelors degree is even considered insignificant. When I talk to people about employment, they suggest entry level jobs which require no skills or education. My brother suggested I go back to school and get a masters degree. He said that the investment in education would be worth it since I have potentially 20 more years in the workforce.
I considered taking a job, but I had no intention of giving up my God given job of being a mother. Rick believed that as long as someone is staying home being parent to the children it doesn't matter who does it. He says that "father as provider and mother as nurturer" are rigid roles. I believe that "father as provider, mother as nurturer" is ideal and while I know that in certain situations, adjustments must be made, this is not a serious enough situation to warrant throwing out the ideal.
Since Rick has been home, I have found that more of our needs are being met. Things are getting repaired that have been waiting for a quite a while. And I have confidence that our needs will continue to be met. We will find a way to meet the family's needs that fulfills us. Maybe that will be a good job for Rick where he is happy, or maybe it will be self employment where the family works together. I think we were put on this earth to be happy, not to suffer it out until we die.
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Lee decided that unloading trailers full of bullets in the middle of the night was not for him and so he has quit the Fed Ex job. He is now assiting a neighbor installing window blinds doing the job that John worked last summer.
Colette Miller emailed me this comment on the blog:
I can't respond on your family blog so I thought I'd send the thoughts you stimulated - to you. I'm sure you'll understand what I'm trying to say, because it appears to me that you practice this philosophy.
When my family moved away from Las Vegas I was 6 years old and my primary teacher gave me a book. It wasn't like the books you would give a 6 year old these days. I couldn't read the book. It wasn't entertaining and I couldn't understand it.
Later when I learned to read, I read the first page over and over trying to understand. I read it so many times, I can still remember what it said, and I have thought of it from time to time. It said,
"Prayer can be doing; doing whatever we have to do with love in our hearts. All great men have made their work their play, for they have loved it."
I note now that great men didn't do what they loved. Great men loved what they did.
Happiness in life doesn't come from doing what ever I want. Happiness comes from with in. It doesn't come from looking inside me and deciding what I want. It comes from looking beyond self, to see what I can do for others.
Happiness is an attitude / a point of view. I hate to cook (or sew or garden or you name it) But it is satisfying to see the family eat the food, and to reaize that the food helps them to feel good and be kind to others. I'm happier looking at it that way compared to thinking about all the dishes I'm going to have to wash afterward.
I think we are far better off and far happier when we do what needs to be done (like it or not), and look for the intrinsic benefit which comes from it. Not only do I (1) get the job done, I (2) feel good about my accomplishment, and (3) I'm rewarded by not having to live with the inconvenience of doing without it being done. And (4) other people benefit from the job being done.
“All great men have made their work their play, for they have loved it."
This can't be taught in a lecture. It must be experienced.
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